Getting comfortable

I saw what love looked like today. It was as simple as two people walking in a parking lot side by side. They weren’t actually in the parking lot, because they moved about in a world of their own. One hand went searching as the other instinctively opened. Their body language moved like melodies in music. Each beat anticipating the next.

 

Day 015/100 of my fleeting moments

Day 015/100 of my fleeting moments

Introspection

Sitting with myself to observe my past behavior. The person I was yesterday varies from the one I am today and the one I will be in all of my tomorrows. I notice how reaction and response differ from one another. I ask that this awareness will imprint itself into the palm of my hand, transpiring into a visible reminder for all of my days. I fear without it, this observation will be easy to forget.

 

Getting deeper by sitting still. Relationships come full circle and then there is clarity. Time will slow down as one learns to no longer be reckless to oneself. One can choose opportunities that fulfill the soul.  

 

We are left with choice and discernment. Choosing the holy act of honoring a higher standard. We deserve it. 

Day 014/100 of my fleeting moments

Day 014/100 of my fleeting moments

Espresso and milk

You held the door open for me. I smiled with a thank you and made my way to the counter. I ordered milk and espresso. We stood side by side with the sounds of milk steaming and espresso shots pulling from behind the counter. I moved my eyes around the café looking for an open seat.

 

My order was called just as your order echoed behind. Realizing we both ordered the same thing as we reached for our cups, you beamed. You moved towards a seat next to the fireplace in the squishy chairs.

 

I sat in the only open table next to the East facing window. A drafty last attempt at winter passed through me as I sat in my chair. The cold from the window clinging beneath my layers, I felt reluctant to stay seated there. There was one open chair next to you by the fireplace.

 

I asked if you wouldn’t mind if I joined you. Espresso we drank, in complete silence.   

Day 013/100 of my fleeting moments

Day 013/100 of my fleeting moments

Saturday night

I still have a day job. It may seem like quite the disconnect from living artfully, serving pizza and beer in a sports bar, but I love it. This is my welcomed disconnect.

 

By waiting tables I make connections with people of many differing perspectives. I am granted endless opportunities to make someone’s day better. I love the humble act of bussing tables. But the supportive friendships that are made in the kitchen are truly why this work is worthwhile.

 

These friends tend to be reassuring of your new writing projects. They care about all your missed connections and first dates. They become your cheerleaders as your art moves through the different seasons, talking about your work when you are too weary to. They want to support you as you “put yourself out there”. Sometimes they drag you out of the house, against your better judgment, with red lipstick, straightened hair and high heels. They let you know that it is all a part of an “experiment”.

 

We went dancing. We drank drinks. We flirted. I approached a tall man under bar lighting with an adorably contagious grin. Me, feeling star struck by his smile, gave him my number. He texted.

 

That is a long story short. It may not seem like moments that were truly fleeting, but a lot of the details have escaped me. I am proud of myself for dancing within the discomfort. We all forgot our cameras that night, so we are left with pieces of our story. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Cheers!

Day 005/100 of my fleeting moments

Day 005/100 of my fleeting moments

Get out of your own way

Today was spent within the confines of a Seattle area hospital.  Just how life can change so fluidly, my day’s events were anything but planned. I am grateful, however, to be the friend that was called upon during a time of need. We let ourselves forget where we were, and I am a firm believer that that is where the healing truly begins. 

 

In the middle of the day I went down to the main floor to get coffee and noticed that a male nurse stood behind me in line. I knew that this might be my only opportunity to “put myself out there” for the day. I’m going to be real honest with you here; this nurse was a total dreamboat. In my mind I rehearsed a couple ways I could spark a conversation. I hunted for something witty to say as we both waited for our drinks. I even imagined that we could possibly reach for a napkin or beverage sleeve simultaneously. If that happened, we would surely linger over small talk and espresso.

 

Then my little fantasy came to a screeching halt when the barista called his drink up first. All I think of in that moment is that the hospital staff must be in cahoots. Because I had stalled, I never got the chance to show him my charming side. ;) 

 

When I got home, I decided that the next time I see a total dreamboat, I will just say hi. There is nothing to worry about with being friendly. It can’t hurt anyone.  As I began to paint and write about my day, my hands gave me the best advice. I wrote, “Get out of your own way”, and I think it is just what I needed to hear.